Bumps in the Road of Life

I am sure you have seen the news: a 15 year old girl, brutally beaten and raped multiple times over the course of two hours, while other students went about their business and even came in and out to watch at a school dance. I was truly troubled when I saw this on the news, which happened in Richmond, California. I was further troubled to hear that no one called for help for more than two hours and that as many as 20 students were present during this gang rape. It is a natural reaction to blame those students for their apathy. "How could they do that?" "What kind of people are they?" "What were they thinking?" It is our tendency to point the finger at THEM.

I could not sleep well the night after I heard the news of this crime. I lay in bed wondering how it is that we, as a society, are creating young people that are so hardened. Why would the students not call or step up to help? How is it possible to refuse someone in such a desperate situation help or some kind? Bit the I realized, it is not just THEM. It is all of us. We are the same people. We are the entire human race; we all live on a relatively small planet together. When one person hurts, we all hurt. When one part of society is damaged, we are all damaged. We each have to look at ourselves and ask, "What can I do to make this better?"

Then I started thinking about what we actually talk about with our kids as parents, teachers, mentors. We talk about their day, what's happening at school (but we don't really want to now too much), we talk about movies, or TV or what's for dinner. But dinner and casual conversation is supposed to be polite. Here's my question: When do we take the time to talk with our kids and young adults about difficult questions or what to do it:

*Someone scares you?
*Someone if following you?
*Someone makes you feel uncomfortable?
*Your friend is dating someone who treats them badly?
*You see one person hit another?
*You know someone has a weapon?
*You hear someone threaten someone?
*You overhear someone threaten to hurt someone?
*You made a bad decision and want to make it right?
*You are riding in a car with friends and want to get out but don't know where you are or are afraid to ask them to stop?
*You are at a party and things get out of hand?

I have dedicated my life to having these discussions and to teaching people about safety. I work hard to help people build their self-confidence and spend my days teaching self-defense. Even so, this horrific crime made me take a look and reanalyze what I and all of us can do better so that this kind of thing never happens again.

These are real everyday things we face--no matter what age. I say it's better to talk this through and learn skills to be safe--if we don't then we need to be prepared to WING IT. We would not put our kids behind the wheel of a car without giving them the skills to drive Then why would we send out kids out into this world without the skills to handle the bumps in the road of life?

I urge you to have these tough conversations, and if you don't have the answers to give you kids of what they should do in some of these situations then seek out an expert who can help you find those answers!

Be PRO-ACTIVE in your and your kids SAFETY!

Come take a self-defense class with me or a qualified person in your area. If you don't know where to find a qualified person contact me at sherry@sherrymcgregor.com

Thank you to Amy Thien Durning for editing and allowing me to brainstorm with.